I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
