I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
