as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
