Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
