and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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