why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
