remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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