Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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