I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
