question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
