her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
