it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
