seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
