he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
