She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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