absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
