Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
