you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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