may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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