I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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