Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
