And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
