at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
