"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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