I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
