Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She told me I should be a condom model.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
