I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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