WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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