so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He is an equal opportunity slut.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
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He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
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Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.