"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
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well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
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I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If I die, sorry about rent.