Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
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right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
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Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right