Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!

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(602): View more from Arizona

making cat noises will not fix the situation.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...

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(805): View more from California

Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are

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Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"

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(706): View more from Georgia

Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom

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