Texts From Last Night

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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high

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  (774): dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high http://tfl.nu/yu6x
  Replies (49) Good night (7581) Bad night (915)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  nope, you were tallying rejections at the party

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  (313): hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots? (734): nope, you were tallying rejections at the party http://tfl.nu/c1is
  Replies (8) Good night (1137) Bad night (6022)
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  (516): View more from New York

  making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"

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  (516): making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage" http://tfl.nu/jy1p
  Replies (9) Good night (4843) Bad night (960)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?

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  (443): Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert? http://tfl.nu/7qpe
  Replies (8) Good night (1042) Bad night (2532)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.

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  (610): Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight. http://tfl.nu/6ipq
  Replies (2) Good night (3742) Bad night (1950)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.

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  (718): you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke. http://tfl.nu/vku6
  Replies (13) Good night (2996) Bad night (1228)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...

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  (248): im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend... http://tfl.nu/rj6y
  Replies (4) Good night (2460) Bad night (1142)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night

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  (978): How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night http://tfl.nu/80v5
  Replies (7) Good night (932) Bad night (2038)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.

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  (847): This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle. http://tfl.nu/3imx
  Replies (7) Good night (1703) Bad night (710)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched

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  (+32): It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched http://tfl.nu/cbi6
  Replies (3) Good night (995) Bad night (510)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life

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  (618): She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life http://tfl.nu/m1em
  Replies (8) Good night (2628) Bad night (616)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.

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  (828): If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong. http://tfl.nu/ed76
  Replies (9) Good night (1207) Bad night (365)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers

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  (248): I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers http://tfl.nu/pmtt
  Replies (6) Good night (782) Bad night (296)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.

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  (513): Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough. http://tfl.nu/b714
  Replies (4) Good night (531) Bad night (388)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.

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  (509): i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot. http://tfl.nu/0579
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (364)

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