Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.

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(404): View more from Georgia

He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying

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(727): View more from Florida

I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(406): View more from Montana

I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this

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(509): View more from Washington

I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.

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(760): View more from California

I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?

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