Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Did you just throw up mid-sentence?

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  (202): Did you just throw up mid-sentence? http://tfl.nu/vo8s
  Replies (2) Good night (1104) Bad night (775)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.

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  (404): He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic. http://tfl.nu/a5vi
  Replies (21) Good night (1069) Bad night (6772)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hannah Montana > iCarly

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely

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  (847): Hannah Montana > iCarly (309): I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely http://tfl.nu/uzzz
  Replies (49) Good night (1474) Bad night (5322)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.

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  (540): You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm. http://tfl.nu/f71e
  Replies (13) Good night (5280) Bad night (1166)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?

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  (206): At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall? http://tfl.nu/7soh
  Replies (11) Good night (3073) Bad night (1239)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am

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  (716): I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am http://tfl.nu/oz9f
  Replies (5) Good night (3448) Bad night (1412)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  On my way to the DMV to get arrested

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  (781): On my way to the DMV to get arrested http://tfl.nu/1450
  Replies (8) Good night (1174) Bad night (2177)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me

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  (712): We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me http://tfl.nu/ga08
  Replies (2) Good night (1219) Bad night (1069)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.

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  (+44): Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill. http://tfl.nu/mubs
  Replies (6) Good night (1023) Bad night (705)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home

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  (617): Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home http://tfl.nu/toow
  Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (1065)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.

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  (705): My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class. http://tfl.nu/olmr
  Replies (16) Good night (2180) Bad night (517)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.

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  (516): Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet. http://tfl.nu/uizc
  Replies (16) Good night (3085) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.

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  (630): And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates. http://tfl.nu/727h
  Replies (4) Good night (953) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?

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  (586): You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them? http://tfl.nu/w767
  Replies (2) Good night (888) Bad night (449)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?

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  (305): Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it? http://tfl.nu/7lec
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (403)

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