He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
