Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
