Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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