dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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