I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
