What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
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Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize