Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she told me i tasted like america
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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