I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize