I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
