In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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