You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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