lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
