i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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