I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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