Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
