I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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