She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
