Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
