we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Welp...herpes.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
