Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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