Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
