THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
