I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
