apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he puts the penis in happiness.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize