we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do vagina's smell?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
