You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
