I'm lost and stupid without you.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
