Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
