I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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