I don't usually arrange sex via text message
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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