nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
