he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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