Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
